Jaiden Robinson 00:00:11  Okay. Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Rave Social Podcast. I’m your host, Jaiden, and today we have Natalie. She is a mindset and business coach. We’ve had her on the podcast before. It was really awesome and we’re excited to talk to her again. Just kind of about this past year and some different things about coaching mindset, showing up on social media. So we’re super glad to have her and Natalie. Why don’t you just tell us a little bit about what you do, who you serve, and then we’ll get into the nitty gritty. 

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:00:41  Beautiful. Well, thank you for having me again. I’m so excited to be here. And yeah, I’m excited to also dive into like a reflection of this past year, because I think we talked back in March. I want to say so, so much has happened in between, and so much has changed in the online space and everything as well. But yeah, like you said, I’m a mindset and business mentor. I really focus on helping kindhearted, Ambitious woman because I noticed that like just being a business owner, being kind, it’s so easy to one get taken advantage of to to doubt yourself and question your worth and your abilities.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:01:15  And so that’s who I really focus on helping, because I know that was me once upon a time as well. And it can be really difficult to run a business. So I focus on mindset, what I call heart set, which is really meditation and emotional regulation and business strategy, and really combining that to focus on not just the business, but also the human behind the business. Because we know, like if there’s a mindset block, it’s going to be so much harder to move through if that is present. So I really look at it from like a very holistic perspective.

Jaiden Robinson 00:01:44  Yeah, I love that so much. And you’re also just so, like, well-spoken. I love listening to I teach.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:01:50  That’s the best compliment.

Jaiden Robinson 00:01:51  Ever, really. It’s so true. And I do feel like in the coaching business space, There’s an overabundance of coaches that are like, just fucking do it. Hustle are they’re just so like masculine in my opinion. And they’re kind of harsh and that’s okay. They’re good for some people.

Jaiden Robinson 00:02:11  But like, I actually enjoy a little bit more softness and a little bit less of that kind of energy which you really bring to the space and I think is so needed. So congrats, you’re doing it.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:02:24  Thank you. Oh my God, that was literally the best compliment I’ve received in ages, because that’s something that I always struggled with and never saw myself having as a strength is like being able to articulate myself. That was always something where I felt like I needed to strengthen it. And so to hear from you that you actually see that as a strength in me, I’m like, oh, wow. Like, okay, thank you. Yeah, I’ll accept that.

Jaiden Robinson 00:02:46  Absolutely. And since the last time we talked, you, like you said, so many things have happened. I mean, we were talking in person a couple weeks ago about it, but I just feel like 2024 has been such a crazy year for me personally, in the way that I’m showing up on social media. I remember this time last year I was hosting challenges that were like 30 day posting challenges, which I still stand by, that if you need that, you know that’s okay to do.

Jaiden Robinson 00:03:14  But it was very like go, go, go energy. And like my hooks were really harsh and I don’t know, I was just in that time it was really useful for me, like my account was growing. People were loving that. But then as I went into 2024, I really felt like that was not how I wanted to show up anymore. And I was like, there has to be another way to do this.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:03:40  Totally agree. Yeah, I felt similarly where even to what you had said previously about that, like masculine energy and that go, go, go and the harshness. I even felt myself adopting that identity and I became so disconnected from who I was, where I was like, I don’t even connect to the parts of me that actually make me me and that people love me for and know me for. And so is it really hard to like, get. It’s almost like a washing machine or like a wave online where you, like, kind of get caught up and sucked in it and then you get.

Jaiden Robinson 00:04:12  Some, oh yeah.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:04:14  And then you get spit out and you’re on shore and you’re like, where am I? And then that’s when you have your moment.

Jaiden Robinson 00:04:20  Yeah. I was like, that’s literally how this year has felt like I started 2024 in a coaching program. That was great. But I did feel like I got caught up in it, like exactly what you’re saying. Like, I got caught up in, like, I don’t even know, like making it so, like, systemized and methodical and, like, programmed and like, that’s honestly just like, not how I work and function. And I value that in other people. But for me, like, I need to be able to do what I’m interested in and switch up my Ideas and stuff like that. So then I did feel like I got caught up in that, and then it was difficult for me to once that ended to be like, okay, like, wait, what is it that like I want like I had to re separate myself and be like, I don’t even know what it is I want to be talking about sharing about like what even are my offers? Like I had like a real moment where I was like, oh no, like that.

Jaiden Robinson 00:05:15  Burn it to the ground feeling where you’re like, yeah, I’m just gonna have to start over. Which luckily I got myself out of that and didn’t actually burn it down. But it really, it does feel like you can get so caught up. And then when you don’t want to do that anymore, you feel like so lost. Yeah.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:05:34  You kind of like lose yourself in everything that they’re doing in teaching and take that as truth. And then in that you almost lose your own truth. I even had a moment like this yesterday where I had received some advice about, like, you know, I’m in a launch right now. So she kind of was like, oh, just like show up, day off, see how you feel. You don’t have to have it all planned out. And then yesterday, I mean, thank goodness I had it all planned out, but I know myself. And I was like, I actually like to have things planned out ahead of time so I don’t have to sit there and think about it and have this like, I know on myself and I don’t do well under time pressure, where if I show up day of like I feel that pressure.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:06:10  If I have it planned out in advance, I have this like resource bucket to pull from. And in that moment I was like, this is again, just another moment. I get to do things my way. I know what works for me. Yeah. And that’s so much of what it’s about is just doing what works for you.

Jaiden Robinson 00:06:24  Yeah. And I think, like, you can take offerings from coaches. Like I think what happens I don’t know, this is an assumption, but I think it’s like you start to think like they are correct. Period. End of discussion. And so like then things turn black and white or it’s like I’m either doing this or I’m not or they’re right or they’re wrong. But like really there’s a lot less like duality in it. There’s way more like gray area where you can kind of pick and choose from different coaches, like the things that you do, like and agree with and feel good for you and the things that don’t. And you’re still going to be successful if you don’t follow their recipe, like to a tee 100%.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:07:08  And I think that gray area is actually it’s really beautiful because it allows you to be unique and to stand out, because if you’re taking a little bit of this and a little bit of that, you’re also doing what’s authentic for you. And that’s also what’s going to draw in the right people, drawing the right clients, the right community and everything like that. So it is taking everything with like maybe part of this is true for me. Maybe none of it is. But I think we do take a lot of it on as like it’s black and white and you’re either doing it or you’re not. And I do think we’re kind of preconditioning content. It’s like if you don’t have this strategy, then you’re not doing it the right way. And that’s where it kind of starts. And then you take on, okay, well, I’m trying this strategy and maybe that’s not what’s right for me.

Jaiden Robinson 00:07:53  Yeah. And also like a side note on that is like just because that strategy is working doesn’t mean it feels good to you.

Jaiden Robinson 00:07:59  It doesn’t mean it’s aligned with your business. Like the strategies that I’ve used in the past, like they were working, they were working great. You know, like plenty of leads, income, everything. But it was like, but I don’t feel good. Like Jaden doesn’t feel good. So it doesn’t really matter that the strategy is working or it’s not. It’s I don’t feel good about it. So that is I, I think that’s also an important element of it, is to make sure that it feels right for you too.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:08:28  And I feel like feeling good is the best strategy for you. Yeah, that is the strategy.

Jaiden Robinson 00:08:34  Yeah, absolutely. And it’s not to say that like it’s always going to be easy. Like I want to put a disclaimer on that. Like it’s still like might feel hard sometimes and like you might want to try something that at first you’re like, this is uncomfortable, whatever. But overall, I think, you know, you should really shoot to like, enjoy what you’re doing in your business and in your content 100%.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:08:56  And if it’s not, then it’s like, maybe it’s not right for you, or maybe there’s something else to be explored and things like that where it doesn’t have to be one way or the highway. There’s so much gray area in between. I think what’s really interesting too, is we both. And this might be me making an assumption, but I feel like we both had our ways last year where we felt really good in how we were running business, got into coaching and mentorship with other individuals, and then came back to ourselves. And it’s like, I completely just have rotation. Yeah.

Jaiden Robinson 00:09:29  And like I do think that there’s so much value in coaching. But yeah, we both did do the same thing. And like it was like I lost myself in the coaching also. It was kind of a crutch for me because I was like, well, if I just like, do whatever this person like basically tells me to do, then I won’t have to like come up with it on my own.

Jaiden Robinson 00:09:50  But like, ultimately that made me not listen to myself. It made me just forget myself, which is that’s never worked for me. Like, it’s the same reason I had to leave a marriage. Like it was just like, you have to listen to yourself at the end of the day, and these people could definitely help you. And like, I’ve coached clients, I understand, but like, I always just still think you do have to listen to yourself and find what works for you. At the end of the day, I.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:10:17  Totally agree and I’d be curious to hear like what the biggest lesson for you was maybe is coming back to yourself and trusting yourself. I know for me it really changes the way that I approach. Even as a coach. It kind of was a 360 because originally I had wanted to just really help people find the answers to their business within, and I kind of came back to that again where I’m like, it’s really just about helping people uncover what’s true and right for them, not me telling them what the strategy is or x, y, z, which was kind of passed on through the coaching industry a little bit, but it’s completely changed my approach as a coach in terms of just really helping people connect to their own truth within and helping them really rely on their own strategy and their own uniqueness instead of x, y, z.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:11:02  So I feel like that’s been a huge lesson for me.

Jaiden Robinson 00:11:05  Instead of like a blueprint, I mean, social media and content and businesses, all of those things are like, not that blueprint. There are areas, right, that like everyone has to do taxes. So like maybe there is a blueprint for like how you do your finances that could be a part of your business that’s like that. But as far as like offers go, how you’re working with clients, the content you share, like I think people want a blueprint, but there’s really not one. Yeah. And that is hard. Like that’s hard to like get through your head a little bit, but it’s true because it’s just so different. Yeah.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:11:43  You should join that post that on threads because it’s so true.

Jaiden Robinson 00:11:45  Threads is a beast by the way. Oh my gosh. We can get into that later. But wow I don’t know how I feel about that place anymore. Wait.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:11:53  What happened?

Jaiden Robinson 00:11:54  Okay, I’ll just get into it right now.

Jaiden Robinson 00:11:57  I don’t know, I’ve just had multiple instances on threads and it could be because for me, it’s like a place where I’ll like just kind of post, like a spicy thought or something. I don’t think through it quite as much as I would on like Instagram, but I do feel like there’s a lot of negativity there, and it’s more like spreadable than it is on Instagram. Like, at least I don’t get like hate comments and stuff on Instagram I have, but I don’t normally get that. But it seems like every time I post something on threads like there’s a major hater, it’s very weird. Like, I don’t know, I’ve definitely also been a hater, so there’s that. But like so I recently posted a thread about like the wedding industry because Truthfully, the wedding industry does have some major flaws. And like as a bride who’s planning their wedding, like I’m in the weeds, like I’m literally doing it right now. And as I’ve been planning it, I’ve noticed, like there’s communication styles within the wedding industry that I’m like, you guys are totally losing really good clients by doing what you’re doing.

Jaiden Robinson 00:13:01  One of them, for example, is photographers will not post pricing on their websites. Yeah, which is just weird because I would weed myself out. Like, if I know you’re going to be ten K, I’m not going to inquire because I can’t afford ten K. And like, yeah, it’s not worth the photographers time to even talk to me because I’m going to be like, no. And they won’t even post like price ranges, which that’s something I do in my business, as I say, like I start at this rate on my website so that people know, like that’s the minimum investment, right to work with me anyways, blah blah blah. This is a long tangent, but I was kind of sharing some flaws of the industry, and a lot of like, vendors came in really defensive of themselves. Like, well, this is why we do what we do. And it’s like, that’s great. But I’m telling you as a client that’s not working unless I’m not your target audience, which could also be true.

Jaiden Robinson 00:13:58  Right? But it’s funny, like they were really defensive. And I was like, that’s weird, because when I see feedback for social media managers, I always like, want to take it into consideration. And when I get client feedback from my clients, I’m like, oh, yeah, I’m going to consider that because that’s your experience and I’m not in your shoes. So I don’t know. But I don’t know. It’s just on threads. I feel like people are just so people feel really defensive there and then easily triggered. It’s very I don’t know, it’s crazy. How do you feel about it?

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:14:29  I mean, I definitely feel like there is a lot of conversations happening there, and maybe more in the argumentative sense, where people are wanting to have debates, they’re wanting to post spicy content, as you said, and just like stir the pot a little bit and in stirring the pot, you may be attract some people you like. Push away the people that you don’t want to call in, and you attract the people that you do.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:14:54  So true. So it is interesting where is like a spicier platform. In that way. I feel like I haven’t posted much that spicy on there, so I can’t really say like I’ll post like random like thoughts on my walks. So it’s not really calling in like crazy things. I’m just like, oh, don’t forget to look up at the sky.

Jaiden Robinson 00:15:14  Yeah. You’re like like this or like this stuff like nobody could be mad about. That’s so true. And like, truthfully, like, my content totally could trigger a discussion, a debate. So I have obviously like, responsibility in that, but one that I did post that I was like, what is going on. Like I posted my like recurring monthly expenses, like mostly subscriptions, like zoom, Riverside, all that stuff. And I was like, tell me, like, are any of these like consolidated Bill? Like, why do I have so many subscriptions? And people were ripping me apart. Some people were nice, I will say, but people were ripping me apart.

Jaiden Robinson 00:15:51  Like, respond to me. Like, why would you pay for like Gmail and Dropbox? Like, that is so dumb. They do the same thing, like comments like that, like, I’m just asking a question.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:16:01  This is wrong.

Jaiden Robinson 00:16:03  Yeah.

Jaiden Robinson 00:16:03  I’m like, wait a second. Like, I wasn’t asking for you to call me an idiot. Like, what do you mean?

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:16:12  So I don’t know for some help and answers. All good. No, but it’s really interesting point. Like what you brought up in terms of how people sort of see the post, how they get activated by it, because those activations are really just something within them that they’re feeling activated by. It has nothing to do with you. It’s just like you happen to be the one that said something that triggered something in them. But you could take a different person who’s not going to be triggered by that. So it really is their responsibility to look at that trigger, to look at the activation and be like, oh, what don’t I like about that? And it has nothing to do with you.

Jaiden Robinson 00:16:51  And I feel like, you know, going back to the wedding industry. One, I do feel like there are probably people in the industry that saw it and were like, actually, that’s good feedback or whatever. And right, they’re just not the ones that are like click clacking away on the keyboard. Like they’re silently being like, oh, great. Yeah. That’s interesting. Or maybe I should look at my whatever, you know, they’re just not responding. So that is also an element that you have to consider. The people that are going to like, be commenting or not. It seems like the negativity is louder then, yeah, the positivity, but the positivity is still there.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:17:30  It’s just more like silent, quiet positivity. Yeah, I mean, like it. I feel like people, the ones who are so in defense of the pricing and everything like that, there’s probably a reason they’re where they feel uneasy about it, or it’s stirring something up in them that they have to look at, and they feel like they have to vocally defend it in order to defend it internally about it being right, even though you actually could be right about it.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:17:56  And they maybe deep down know that.

Jaiden Robinson 00:17:58  So yeah, that’s. Yeah. Also super interesting honestly that like literally also that is a big part of 2024 like threads like that is new.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:18:11  Yeah it’s new like.

Jaiden Robinson 00:18:13  What is.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:18:13  It.

Jaiden Robinson 00:18:13  It’s like truly the wild west of social media.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:18:20  Totally. I know I’m like what’s coming next? Like, okay, there’s threads and then I just feel like there’s something brewing behind the scenes that’s going to come out. I just feel it.

Jaiden Robinson 00:18:30  It’s going to evolve. Which is also something funny that I feel like. This has been a big lesson for me this year. Is that like being comfortable with the fact that it’s not going to be the same, like getting comfortable with the fact that, like the same content you shared three months ago may not be the same content that is going to work now. And like being okay with that instead of wanting to fight it. Yeah, I think it was a big thing for me too, is it’s like, nope, you’re just going to have to evolve and that’s okay.

Jaiden Robinson 00:19:04  It’s only a bad thing if you make it be a bad thing 100%.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:19:08  And I feel like it’s always evolving and always shifting. And you do have to be kind of aware of trends and things in that capacity and paying attention. Like I think to a certain extent, you want to look at what other people are doing just so you’re aware without falling too deep into it, because there are things happening in the behind the scenes and there are changes going on. Yeah, this year a lot too. A huge shift has been in the space of authenticity. I think authenticity has like risen so much in a beautiful way. Like I’m so happy that, yeah, it’s just interesting to know how last year I feel like it was really about putting on a facade and really being like the most strong put together person and things like that. And now I feel like it’s a lot softer and it’s a lot more of people being transparent, people showing behind the scenes and just being more of their authentic self, which is so cool to see.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:20:04  I feel like that’s a really good change that’s happened.

Jaiden Robinson 00:20:07  It is. And that is one piece of like your strategy that like, won’t ever really have to change. Yeah. Which I like to like, I like that personal brands, that authenticity, that type of thing because it’s like that exists outside of trends And if you like, stay true to yourself in that way, like the trends and all that stuff matters less. One thing that I’ve shifted for myself this year is following way less coaches. Like I unfollowed a lot of coaches, I unfollowed a lot of people in my industry or Muted or whatever. And then I’ve looked for my pulse on. What’s going on comes from creators that are like comforting to me. So they might be funny, they might be beauty bloggers, they might be influencers, like all these different areas. That’s where I’m getting my pulse from, not people in my own industry, because I found that that made me feel overwhelmed. Like they would post something and I’d be like, oh, shoot, like I need to talk about that, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Jaiden Robinson 00:21:08  And it’s like, no, you don’t. It’s okay.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:21:10  Yeah, I felt the exact same. And I’ve definitely been even personally considering like unfollowing so many people and I haven’t got quite gone to the point where I’m like, oh, it feels kind of rude or I don’t even know what it is yet. I have to dive deeper into the resistance, but it is so interesting. I feel like who you follow kind of creates your own bubble. And definitely on my coaching camp particular, it’s a bubble. It’s a bubble. And it took me switching to my apparel companies account and being like, oh my gosh.

Jaiden Robinson 00:21:39  Like, look at all this.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:21:41  Yeah, I’m like, look at all this. And also all these people are popping off and they’re doing exactly what everyone else is saying you shouldn’t do, but they’re doing so well. And that was the moment where I was like, everything just goes out the window. Like, I’m done listening to everyone and everything.

Jaiden Robinson 00:21:58  Like, it’s so true.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:22:00  It’s so true. It’s crazy. Like, we’re just in this little bubble and you pop it and you like, look outside your bubble and everyone is doing everything that you’re told not to do. And I’m like, cool.

Jaiden Robinson 00:22:13  It literally becomes an echo chamber.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:22:16  Like, yes, yes.

Jaiden Robinson 00:22:17  That’s what I was like, literally like, this is the type of stuff that was driving me crazy. Hashtags are dead. Hashtags are not dead. All of that was killing me deep in my soul because I felt like I had to talk about that, or else I wouldn’t be seen as an expert when in reality. Who gives a fuck about hashtags?

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:22:41  Say it loud. Like they literally don’t matter.

Jaiden Robinson 00:22:45  Like in the big picture. They don’t matter. Like, yeah, okay, take me to jail. Hashtags are dead. I don’t know, but here’s the thing. It’s just like, why are we worrying about that? Like, use hashtags. Don’t use hashtags. Like, literally. Who cares? Let’s talk about what message you’re trying to get across.

Jaiden Robinson 00:23:03  Let’s talk about how you can serve your community. Let’s talk about building a genuine connection. Like who cares about that?

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:23:12  Yeah, I mean, and I think it’s interesting because I, I’m going to argue a little bit against that. I do think hashtags matter to a certain extent from like the SEO perspective, where if you think about people searching on Instagram somewhere they were searching on Google, like the keywords do matter, but to what extent were you actually, like lose the overall arching message and the heart that’s in it because you’re putting in and you’re so worried about the minute details where it’s like, okay, are you just worried about the details of the things? Or let’s focus on the bigger picture. And that’s where, yes. Yeah, I.

Jaiden Robinson 00:23:47  Actually just agree with you 100% on that. Like that’s why I was sick of seeing stuff like that because I was like, this doesn’t matter to the scale that people are giving it power. I was just like, if we’re really worried about that and you’re going to spend even an hour every month, like worrying about your hashtag bank, like, just don’t.

Jaiden Robinson 00:24:09  Yeah. Especially if that’s holding you back from like actually putting content out. It’s just like, what are we worried? Wait. Let’s just like. It’s okay, it’s okay.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:24:19  It’s so funny how it’s like all these minute details. Like, how long is your real? And are you using the right audio and are you using the right hooks like, there’s so many my new details. And I’ve even had this conversation with friends who want to start their own business and they’re like, okay, but on socials, like, do I need to do this and do I need to do that? And how do I boost this? And I’m like, these are all like small things, like you said, like we actually need to look at the bigger picture and focus on like, what is your overarching like core message? Like who were the type of people that you’re wanting to attract? There’s so much more to it. Those are like the nitty gritty things. It’d be like baking a cake and basically picking, okay, I’m going to use this brand of flour over this brand of flour, even though at the end of the day it’s just all flour, you’re still getting a cake.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:25:04  Yes.

Jaiden Robinson 00:25:06  It’s so true. And like I think people let there’s no shame in this. Like, if this is you right now, it’s okay. But I think people like, really worry about that. Like they worry about posting time, they worry about hashtags, they worry about the trending audio and that stuff. And it’s like, that might be like literally the last like 5 or 10% of your content. Like the important part is not that, but you’re giving that so much power over your ability to like, create and post content. And it’s like, yeah, optimization, right? We want to optimize. We want our content to go 5 or 10% farther, but it is only 5 or 10% farther. And you really need that foundational 80, 90, 95% to be there before that stuff will really even come into play 100%.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:25:58  And I think it’d be interesting to to get curious around, why do I feel like those details almost need to, like, be perfect or like, why am I so focused on them? Like, is there an underlying fear there of what if this doesn’t perform? What if this doesn’t land? What if someone thinks this is stupid? And does that need to actually be unpacked? But it’s actually presenting as oh my gosh, like, what if I use the wrong hashtags? But really instead they’re saying, oh my gosh, what if I don’t get the people that I want? And that’s actually the fear that’s at play, but it’s showing up as hashtags.

Jaiden Robinson 00:26:29  I mean, that is for sure. I think if you were to ask people on a deeper level, what is it? And it would be like, you know, they’re afraid that the work that they put into the piece of content won’t give them the impact that they want or like that. It’s not necessarily about the hashtags. It’s that they’re scared it’s not going to bring in the client exactly what they want.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:26:53  And it’s good to acknowledge that, though, because then it takes the power off the hashtags and places it back into what actually is their underlying, and then you can fix the sort of root cause and show up and be able to post a beautiful pose without worrying about how it’s going to land. And that’s not.

Jaiden Robinson 00:27:13  That’s so true. Have any other lessons like come up for you?

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:27:17  Oh my gosh, so many. I feel like the biggest one has been coming back to myself for sure. If I had to like recap that. And I do feel like again, that has completely transformed how I approach just being a coach as well with my own clients, but really strengthening that self-trust as well and just knowing I’ve got it all, like I have it all.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:27:39  And I think a huge thing for me this year, actually, over the past two years, was really celebrating myself and acknowledging I’m actually really good at what I do. And that used to be something that I had a really, really hard time doing and I did not acknowledge. And now it’s so evident. I’m like, I’m pretty good at what I do. I’m actually really good at it. And now I don’t have an issue saying that. But in the past, I definitely would have been like, oh, I’m okay. Or, you know, just like the watering yourself down. And now I feel a lot more stable in saying that and stable in myself as well.

Jaiden Robinson 00:28:13  How’s that made you show up with more, like, ease and just more confidence?

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:28:18  Yeah, absolutely. And this has been another lesson that the kind of triggered up is, I think at the beginning of the year, I was also lost in that hustle mentality. And like when I was working so hard to try and make things work, things actually worked less.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:28:34  And when I worked less hard, things actually worked better. Which has been the best lesson? Yeah, I had to learn it through a lot of different ways, and I had to have like those breakdown moments, which are breakthroughs and really sit there and look at, okay, I’m pushing myself to such a place of anxiety that isn’t me. Like people know me as like a very grounded, calm person. And how I was presenting as myself. I was like, this is not me. Like I’ve actually lost touch with myself. So I had to really get back and touch myself and to really acknowledge, like things can just happen. And I have so much evidence of things just happening out of nowhere and it just being easeful and that happening. So that was a huge lesson this year.

Jaiden Robinson 00:29:21  I had a very similar experience like, and it’s honestly a lesson that like, I don’t know what it is like karmically I have to keep learning it and I’m still like so tempted. I’m always so tempted to go back into hustle, go back into do more, do more, do more.

Jaiden Robinson 00:29:40  But what’s funny is the last two months have been my highest revenue months ever in my business, and I have traveled more than I ever have. Like, I’ve literally been like, not home for most of that time. I haven’t even been like selling my offers. Like I honestly have been doing. Not that much. And the opportunities have just come to me. The inquiries have come to me, the clients have come to me ready to sign. And truly, I think that’s because I like, let go. Like I literally told my fiancee, I was like, I cannot do this. The rate in which I’m going, I can’t. It’s not sustainable. I need to take a step back. And literally, as the words came out of my mouth, is when all of it started flowing in. I love that it’s true. It’s so tempting though. It’s so tempting. Like you just see the hustle culture. You see people posting like do more laundry. Freebies are like all this stuff and it’s like, shoot, should I be doing that? But in reality, again, you have to come back to yourself.

Jaiden Robinson 00:30:47  And my self knows that like more white space, more time off, less clients, less hustle is what I need. And then obviously I’ve been rewarded.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:30:57  Yeah, yeah. And I mean, I feel like that’s a direct reflection of and I love that you talked about this too, because it does get to create evidence for other people that it gets to be easy. And I think it is some societal conditioning, like we have to work hard to get what we want and good things come from, like going through difficult times and from hard things. It’s just so much conditioning, which is why you probably also feel like wanting to go back to every now and then, because there is still maybe a little bit of a tie there that just has to be like completely severed, which is so interesting.

Jaiden Robinson 00:31:31  It is like so societal. And an example of this that I saw literally yesterday on TikTok was there’s an influencer that I follow. She’s in college, she’s done really well for herself. She’s very young and she has made a lot of money.

Jaiden Robinson 00:31:45  And she went and bought her dream car, which was like this cute little porch. And people in her comments were like, you don’t deserve that. You didn’t work hard enough. Right? And that comment right there just shows that, like people, don’t you? You probably I probably all of us struggle to feel like we’re deserving of a big, beautiful life without working ourselves to the bone, when in reality, you don’t have to do that. She’s allowed to make that much money being an influencer and get that nice car she does deserve. It doesn’t matter how hard or not hard she worked.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:32:26  100%, and it’s just seeing people like that who are rewarded for not even working so hard. That’s the evidence to like. It’s like you don’t have. Don’t you.

Jaiden Robinson 00:32:36  Want that? Yeah. Like the person leaving that comment, it’s like, don’t you wish you didn’t have to work as hard to also have that Porsche like, well.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:32:44  That’s where you get to see the projection because you see that that comment was a projection.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:32:48  And that’s what they don’t allow themselves to have or to be. They’re judging her because they secretly want that, but won’t allow themselves to actually have a Porsche without doing so much hard work. So that’s their own thing that they need to work on. It’s so interesting, but it’s.

Jaiden Robinson 00:33:05  So interesting.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:33:06  When you learn like the projections and the judgment, you just learn. Everyone is just saying what they actually don’t allow for themselves. But it’s so beautiful to see how both of us have even seen that working less and experiencing more ease actually brings more opportunities. And things work better for you in business. And I truly believe it. Like I had to kind of uncover where did this belief come from like that things have to be hard and they have to be difficult. And that’s also one of the reasons why I kept investing in coaches, and I kept investing in courses and things like that was because it wasn’t enough and like, it couldn’t be that easy. There had to be something more there that it just there’s no way it’s that.

Jaiden Robinson 00:33:47  You were missing something.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:33:48  Yeah, exactly. It’s like you’re missing something because it’s too easy and it’s it has to be harder. But that belief then makes your days like, crazy, and it just makes things so much harder versus, okay, well, I actually can do all my work for the day in an hour. I can post my stories, write an email and do a post on socials, and that can take me an hour and like, that’s fine. And like, I can spend the next seven hours enjoying myself. Like it can. Yeah.

Jaiden Robinson 00:34:19  Like you don’t.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:34:20  Even need to post on socials. Like it can be that to like my other business runs itself.

Jaiden Robinson 00:34:25  So that is like one thing that I do is like, I want more white space on my calendar, right? But then when I have it, I’m like, I gotta feel this time, I gotta feel this time. And it’s like, those are obviously like way contradicting each other. But it is, I think that feeling of not allowing yourself to have what you want, like, that’s what I want.

Jaiden Robinson 00:34:48  I want the white space, like why wouldn’t I let myself have it? And another element of that that I feel like is people feel like going back to the things have to be hard. Like no doctors. Yes, they have a hard job, but they don’t make all that money because they have a hard job. They make all that money because they’re good at what they do. They have the answer, right? Like that’s what we’re paying for. Not really their time, not really any of that. Like they don’t have to work so hard. They just know what they know and they charge the appropriate price for that 100%.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:35:28  And there are people out there who literally, like, have the most easy of easy businesses and are making millions of dollars and going back to the bubble. Like, we get so caught up in the bubble where we see and again, maybe this is our bubbles, that we’re just like our bubble. It could be this tell us. It could just be our bubbles.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:35:46  Like, is this just our bubbles? Where is like, you have to work hard and you have to do x and y amount of time. And if you’re not here, something’s wrong or whatever. But literally, like, there is a whole other world out there, like a whole other world where someone is just sitting on their couch and passively making sales every single day. Okay, I just realized I was describing myself a little bit. I like, I’m like, wait, I do that, okay?

Jaiden Robinson 00:36:16  She’s like, hold up, that’s me.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:36:19  Yeah. I was like, wait, okay, I’m just grabbing myself. But like on a grander scale where people are making millions and millions of dollars. I’m not the millions of dollars, but. So it’s just it’s interesting to see how it just can be easy. Like you can have one super simple product offer whatever, and all it takes is like one moment or one thing and it’s just, that’s it and you’re done.

Jaiden Robinson 00:36:44  That’s your thing.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:36:45  Like it happens.

Jaiden Robinson 00:36:46  Yeah, yes, it does happen. And like it can totally happen for anyone at any time. And I think like this is a bit of a mindset thing, but it’s like when you start to see that and instead of looking at social media like as a place where you go and compare yourself and see how your competitors are doing or what they’re claiming they’re doing instead of that, if you look at it as like what is possible, if that is possible for them, that is possible for you. Times a thousand, like let it be an expander, not a contractor and not a comparison place 100%.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:37:23  It’s interesting because we look at people and we compare ourselves and we’re looking at everything that we don’t have, but really, it’s this golden shadow of like our submerged possibility and our submerged greatness of what we actually want for ourselves. So you can look at them and realize like, oh, what is it that I love about them? Or what is it that I’m actually comparing myself and wanting for me? And it might be something that’s very doable or fixable.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:37:48  Maybe it’s like, oh, I love their aesthetic and you can easily go, okay, well, I just want a better aesthetic for my page. Those are changes you can implement instantly. Yeah. Or maybe it’s like even just like from the comparison aspect, we get so future focused instead of looking at everything that we already do have. And so we feel in this place of like lack of like, oh, I don’t have that. Instead of looking at everything that you do have from the past and it’s so easy to get caught up in that, and then that’s where you don’t feel as good about yourself because you’re looking at everything you don’t have. Instead of looking at everything you do. And even from the comparison perspective, like you’re comparing yourself to someone five steps ahead. But there’s also someone five steps behind you who’s comparing themselves to you.

Jaiden Robinson 00:38:29  Yes, exactly. And I was going to say like, it’s so easy. This is so cliche. And I know people say this all the time, but like, it’s so easy to go look at these people who are successful and be like, it was just like either it was just so easy for them, which maybe it was, or maybe it wasn’t.

Jaiden Robinson 00:38:43  You don’t know. But also like you’re just disregarding and Discounting everything that they know, all the work that they put in, the investments, the risks they took, all of that, like you’re just disregarding it and just being like, they’re just so successful. And it’s like, I mean, are you just going to discount, like all of the stuff they did to get their like, that’s kind of.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:39:07  Cheap and you don’t see the full picture? Like you have no idea behind the scenes. They could be just so anxious or struggling with really difficult things. And on the forward facing, everything looks so bright and put together and like amazing and wavy gravy. But really on the inside, maybe they’re not actually happy. Maybe their soul doesn’t feel fulfilled, but they have all the money and all the all the things that quote unquote present as happiness. So you really never know the full story either.

Jaiden Robinson 00:39:38  Yeah, I think that’s like just another element of coming back to your self is like, if you see something like that and whatever it triggers you, Maybe it doesn’t trigger you.

Jaiden Robinson 00:39:48  Whatever. Like, I think it’s important to just look at that and then come back to yourself and be like, but what do I want? Yes. What feels good for me? Like, do I want the house in the car and the money or do I want? And you can have it all, but or do I want more time off? And just like to be able to go to yoga every morning? Like, what is it that you want? Because I do think how you end up in that like unhappy place, but you’re presenting to everyone that you’re happy is by doing things that you think other people find valuable, instead of what you find valuable 100%.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:40:28  And it’s so interesting because everyone talks about like getting freedom in their business and building a freedom based business. But it’s in the pursuit of building the freedom based business that you lose. The entire aspect of freedom, like freedom is found in your day to day. Not at some point in the future when you have the money. My boyfriend even sent me like a TikTok, and it was like some parable of this fisherman in Mexico.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:40:53  And he was like fishing. And this guy from New York came up to him and was like, oh my gosh, this fish is amazing. I want to help you open a factory. And like, we can sell more fish. And he was like, okay, but then what happens when we sell more fish? And he’s like, well, then we expand worldwide and then we’re able to sell even more, and then eventually you sell your company and you can retire and relax on the beach. And he’s like, well, that’s what I’m already doing with my days is I’m like spending time with family and relaxing at the beach and fishing. So you’re basically just like, working so hard to achieve the same goal that he already has right now. And just like in the moment. So he was like, what’s the point? And that’s exactly what we’re kind of taught as like hustle, hustle, hustle, get to the point where you get everything that you actually have in this moment now.

Jaiden Robinson 00:41:37  Yes.

Jaiden Robinson 00:41:38  Oh, that like really hit for me because I feel like I’ve even been doing that a little bit, like just with like my house and where I live. Like, we rent a house in a neighborhood that I really love. And the neighborhood is so expensive. Like, we’re just lucky we get to live here. And I think I do that sometimes where I’m like, I like overcomplicate it. And it’s like, but you’re living in the neighborhood right now. I’m like, I want to live there one day, babe, you literally live there right now. Like, what do you mean you are living there? So, like, why aren’t you enjoying that to the extent that you would if you lived there? You do? Yeah.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:42:19  It’s like a future. We’re kind of taught that. Like happiness lies in the future and happiness lies in, like the achievement, which is then where we think that we have to get to the achievement. But then when we get the achievement, we don’t appreciate it.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:42:32  And so it’s really about appreciating like the success, the freedom, everything that we already wanted to have in this moment because you already have everything that you are wanting rather than appreciating it at some point in the future. And that’s why when you get there, a lot of times, like when people climb the corporate ladder like that same version kind of exists in business where you climb this ladder to get to a point where you kind of have everything that you wanted in this moment, where you just wanted the simplicity, you just wanted the ease. You just wanted the day to day to enjoy the family. And you kind of get to that point where you’re at the top of the ladder and you look back and you’re like, I had it all along. It literally was always there.

Jaiden Robinson 00:43:12  One thing that I need to get back on but has always helped me with this is I have like the five Minute Journal. I don’t know if you’ve ever like that one, but it’s like the first thing you do is write down like three things you’re grateful for.

Jaiden Robinson 00:43:28  like one thing you want from the day. I can’t remember, like, all the little things I have sitting on my desk because I’m like, I’m going to write in that. But it does help you really appreciate, like, it’s a short little gratitude To practice just appreciating like what you have right now. And then it also gives you an opportunity to like basically put it in a request with the universe to be like. And this is also what I want today. Like, I’m so grateful for what I have. And like I also really would enjoy like X, Y, or Z today. And it’s honestly crazy when I have used it consistently. It’s never not come true. Like anything I’ve ever, you know, written in there because I’m in the energy of I already have it or I love, I appreciate what I already have because I’m in that gratitude. And then you can say like, and it’s okay to want more. But I also am so happy with what I have right now.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:44:22  I love that, I love that, and I totally agree. Like, it definitely is the appreciation for what you have now. And so even when we’re comparing and focus on the lack, like from the manifestation perspective, the universe wants you to appreciate what you already have. Like what you already have is something that you wanted to manifest in the past. Like, it’s truly.

Jaiden Robinson 00:44:44  That’s what’s so true.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:44:45  It just is. And so it’s like I gave you all the things that you asked for, but you’re not appreciating it. So why would I give you more? So appreciating what you do have and then it’s like, okay, well let me bring more your way. Like thank you for acknowledging everything, but it’s like feeding, just like basically like feeding you food that doesn’t make you full if you’re just always going to be hungry and always wanting more instead of being satiated with what you already have and what you’re already being fed, you know, it just it hits different.

Jaiden Robinson 00:45:17  It does totally different.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:45:19  I love the five Minute Journal, though.

Jaiden Robinson 00:45:21  Yeah, I mean, I love it. I’ve also done a gratitude practice where like I just type out, like I appreciate blah I appreciate what like I just type out I appreciate I appreciate everything that I have or that I want. So it’s like a form of if you guys are with me, WUI. It’s a form of like future casting where you basically appreciate the things that you want as if you already have them. So I appreciate that my clients are loving and respectful and are obsessed with me. If that’s if you don’t have that and that’s what you want, you write that out and then in your body it becomes true. And so then you’re way more open to actually being receptive to clients that are like that. And you can do it with things in your life too, like dating your house, financial goals, like literally anything. And that is another practice that I really love, that honestly, I need to do it more because it really does work.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:46:17  Yeah, it totally works. I love like doing it’s kind of different from affirmative statements where it’s called lofty question. So you phrase an affirmation essentially as a question. And the reason why I like that is like you can immediately feel it in your body and our minds are, are there kind of like ChatGPT where if you prompt it with the right question, you get the right answers. So if we ask like, why is it that everyone is so mean to me? Like you’re going to feel you can feel it immediately in your body and you’re also going to be fed these answers of like wyverns mean to you. But if you’re like, why is everyone that I come across so nice to me? You feel better in your body and you get like a list of ten different reasons why everyone’s so nice to you. So you can say that with you. Yeah, like, what are you searching for? Yeah. If you’re like, oh, why is it that all my clients respect me? Like, it feels really good in your body when you say it as a question and you feel really empowered as well.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:47:13  So I like to do those as well. Yeah, I love that.

Jaiden Robinson 00:47:17  I need to, like, get in a routine and start doing some of these things. Not that I need to, but I want to. And I do think it would make make a difference. Yeah, it’s funny how you know what works and what does it and you know what’s right for yourself. But like sometimes you don’t do it. It’s like a form of self-sabotage.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:47:36  I mean, I would get curious around that and be like, okay, why is it that I know the things that I need to do for myself, but I’m not doing it? Yeah. What’s the underlying thing there?

Jaiden Robinson 00:47:45  Like, do you not deserve it. Like, what is it.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:47:48  Yeah, I would get curious. Yeah. And I’d love to hear what comes up. Like it’s so interesting to dive into that. And maybe it’s about being deserving. Maybe it’s about just actually things being easy. You never know what’s going to come up.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:48:02  But I’m sure as you uncover that and dissolve it, it’s going to just like open the floodgates.

Jaiden Robinson 00:48:08  Yeah, absolutely. And at the end of every episode, remember, I always ask, what’s one piece of advice you wish you could give your younger self? So think of that. I want to respond to this for like the first time ever. But I think sometimes we ask ourselves this question and we think like, oh, my 16 year old self, my eight year old self, my whatever your old self. And like because of the theme of this podcast episode. I feel like what I would tell myself a year ago is to just listen to myself, like, make sure that I’m checking in with myself and not losing who I am, my message, my energy. Just because someone has a strategy or something like, I just think I would tell that to myself. Like, just make sure that you listen to yourself.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:48:57  I’m going to echo the exact same thing. Mine was like, trust yourself.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:49:00  Like you already know everything that you need to know and not to lose yourself in everyone and everything else. But yeah, really, to trust yourself. And that’s the number one thing I would tell myself that a year ago. I tell myself, my younger self thought to let everyone. I’m just trust yourself. Yeah for sure.

Jaiden Robinson 00:49:19  Yeah, I love that this has been such a good episode. Honestly, I’ve loved it so, so much. Thank you for being on and we’ll make sure to link all of your stuff. So if you guys want to work with Natalie, I mean, you probably are, like, about to go sign up after this episode after seeing how amazing she is. But we’ll have that there for you so you can work with her. And yeah, thank you so much.

Natalie De Vincenzi 00:49:42  Thank you for having me I appreciate you.

Jaiden Robinson 00:49:44  Yes, I appreciate you. First, I want to say thank you so much for being here and listening to my podcast. It means the world to me, and I just appreciate this community more than you could ever know.

Jaiden Robinson 00:49:58  If you love this episode or a previous episode that you’ve listened to, go ahead and head to the. Leave a review link in the show notes and leave us a review. We would really appreciate it and we’re so glad that you’re here. Thank you.