Jaiden Robinson 00:00:09  Hello everyone and welcome back to The Rave Social Podcast. I’m your host, Jaiden, and today we have a very special guest, Stacy. Stacy is actually a client of mine and honestly a friend at this point. She’s so awesome and she coaches women with their mindset and mostly business entrepreneurs, but she is incredible at it. I feel like just our conversations have always helped me to. When I’m creating your content, I’m like, I’m learning so much. It’s awesome. so Stacy, why don’t you just introduce yourself a little bit and tell us kind of what you’re up to?

Stacy Musgrave 00:00:42  Yeah. For sure. Well, thank you for that glowing introduction. I think it’s it’s a really cool thing to be able to work in this capacity. And I told you, when it came to my social media, I was like, this is the worst part of my day and my business, and why am I hating it so much? And I don’t want to hate it. And you brought me back to, like, I don’t even know if I could call it a love, but it’s I’m at a neutral point, which when it comes to our mindset, like, that’s where we want to be, you know? Yeah.

Stacy Musgrave 00:01:08  Truly. So I want to thank you. And thank you for having me. I’m excited. Yeah. So I won’t go into too far into my journey because it’s been a long one. But I started my entrepreneur journey as a photographer. I used to be a teacher, and it was like I knew that it wasn’t for me, but it’s what I went to school for. And like, of course, that’s the decision I was making every day, you know? And my husband actually at the time was like, do you think this is what you want to do? And I’m like, well, of course it’s what I want to do. What do you mean? Is that what I want to do? I went to school for, you know, and I didn’t get a job that I wanted. I had our first daughter. We have three kids now, and I started doing photography, and it was like my touch into the entrepreneurial world, but I didn’t really, like, absolutely love it.

Stacy Musgrave 00:01:55  But I started doing boudoir photography and I was like, ooh, okay, I’m getting closer. Like, I love this. I did that for a few years. Then I started coaching other boudoir photographers. Once I got through all my mindset blocks and all my holding myself back. And how could I ever do this, you know? And even through that, it was like a little bit closer. Okay, I’m liking this more. But then one client that I worked with was like, I love your whole program. I think it’s great, but like, I already have a pricing sheet. I already have this, I already have this. I’m here for the mindset work.

Jaiden Robinson 00:02:27  Yeah.

Stacy Musgrave 00:02:28  Like oh oh okay. Because I love that part too. And that was really like the unfolding of it all. And I can’t do anything halfway. So I’m like, all right, this is my new pivot. And here I am.

Jaiden Robinson 00:02:41  Yeah I feel like I found you through like a mutual, like coach.

Jaiden Robinson 00:02:48  And at the time you were doing boudoir coaching, I’m pretty sure. Yeah. And yeah, it was really cool to watch your transition in that. And, since then, you know, you’ve joined like other people’s masterminds, right? And kind of done that, mindset piece for them inside their mastermind and yeah, that kind of stuff as well too. Yeah.

Stacy Musgrave 00:03:09  Yeah. I feel like I’m, I can see it as with most feelings and like things about ourselves, I can see it as a negative thing and also a positive thing. Like, I’ve done so much coaching and I’m such a learner, and I think that’s where my education background kind of comes in. I’m like, there’s so much to learn and I can’t possibly figure it all out on my own because one, I don’t want to and two, that would take so much time. And like, yeah, if someone else has figured out one piece of it, then great. I want to go learn from them. But even through that, I’ve always been the person that can kind of see where, especially in group coaching programs, it’s kind of like, you know, this framework that everybody goes along and we flow through the steps because we have to.

Stacy Musgrave 00:03:52  And I always notice the people that are kind of like falling behind a little bit, and it’s not because they don’t want to succeed. I know that, and I have this intuitive feeling of like, wait, but hang on, they just need like a little bit more. And I want to go talk to them and like, help them, because I’ve always been the person that held myself back so much, I didn’t think I could do anything, and I thought everybody else could do everything.

Jaiden Robinson 00:04:15  Yeah, I think that is huge in the online like business space. I feel like that is just I think you could ask anyone and they would say that they would be like, I just don’t think it’s that could be true for me. Like, I think that’s what a lot of people think is they’re like, yeah, they can do it. But like, I don’t know that that’s like, I don’t know that I could do it right. Which is crazy.

Stacy Musgrave 00:04:37  But it’s either not working for me yet or everybody else seems like they’re succeeding so quickly and like, why is this feeling so hard? And these are the things that I kind of now walk through my clients with.

Stacy Musgrave 00:04:49  It’s like, we just haven’t found the thing yet. And if you dig a little and kind of see like, well, why do you think that way? Why are you comparing? Why are you procrastinating? Like there’s always something deeper. And I think that’s the thing that a lot of people kind of just brush over and they’re like, I don’t know, it’s just not working. Yeah, you just have to slow it down a bit.

Jaiden Robinson 00:05:12  I don’t know, it’s just not working. Is like, I hear that all the time too. With social media, people are just like, I don’t know, it’s not working. And I’m like, well, I mean, we have tried it for about three weeks. That’s not enough time. Like, we don’t even know if it’s working or not. Like, yeah, you can’t decide that before it’s even before you’ve even tried. So when you have a client come to you and say something like that, like, I don’t know, it’s just not working, what do you coach them through?

Stacy Musgrave 00:05:42  You know, it’s really interesting.

Stacy Musgrave 00:05:44  And this is to a big thing of what you and I have been working on of like almost this idea that in social media especially, we have to fit ourselves into this box because we need to be automatically. Somebody needs to know who we are and what we’re about and how we can help them. Right? And when you ask me that question, it’s very layered because yes, the things are similar. Like I could give you the main mindset blocks, you know, perfectionism, comparison, imposter syndrome, fear of failure. Like I could check the boxes, but it’s how it presents itself in everyone that’s really different. Yeah. Yeah. And so the cool thing is, even just through a conversation, countless clients have said things like, I’ve never said that out loud to anyone before. And like whether it’s something that’s really exciting to them or whether it’s something that was kind of holding them back. And what I have found that like, if I can just be a place to listen to someone. It allows me to see, like, what’s going on underneath their words.

Jaiden Robinson 00:06:56  Yes, absolutely. Because, like, I can tell you, like, oh, I just don’t want to launch that offer, because what if no one buys it? And then you can uncover, like, well, what are you afraid of? Failing because, like, why? You know, like, what’s the worst thing that could happen? You could kind of like unravel that. Yeah. Which is interesting because, yeah, I feel like we do, especially on social media. I just want like the result basically we’re just like, we want, okay. If you have if you’re afraid of failure, do this and then you’re not going to be afraid of it anymore. But like we’re humans and we’re so complicated that, like, that’s not going to be true for every person. And everyone has different like lived experiences that can change.

Stacy Musgrave 00:07:39  Yeah. And for some people it is truly like this fear, this like debilitating fear that I just can’t take the step. But then once I do, oh my gosh, my world changed.

Stacy Musgrave 00:07:49  Yeah. And then there are some people that feel the fear. They take the step, they get a little bit excited. And then two days later they’re like, I’m never going to be able to do that again. I can’t create that through me. I’ve been there and even like as a photographer, even as a coach, it’s like I can have all of this external validation. People can tell me, oh my gosh, I’ve absolutely loved working with you. You’ve changed my life. People have said that to me. Like, yeah, those are profound words for someone to say, I have no reason to believe that they’re lying. I have no reason.

Jaiden Robinson 00:08:25  Why would someone lie about that? Yeah.

Stacy Musgrave 00:08:27  But then you can have that and then also be nervous to take the next step with someone. And that’s like. That’s the internal part that a lot of people don’t work on.

Jaiden Robinson 00:08:38  Yeah. Okay. So how do you work on that internal shift. Like are you do you think people should journal.

Jaiden Robinson 00:08:45  Like what Or do you think people need to do affirmations like what is it? And it probably changes from person to person, but what are some of those things? What are some tools?

Stacy Musgrave 00:08:54  Yeah for sure. So definitely journaling. That’s something that I always say, like not many things I can say changed my life, but journaling changed my life because I always identified as being so scattered. I’m like, I don’t know, I’m just like really scattered. I can’t articulate a thought. I don’t really know. Like my kitchen is a mess when I’m cooking. It’s like my life was a mess. I feel when it came to my business. Yet I was trying so hard and journaling really helped me slow down my thoughts. And it’s funny because everybody, it’s like you have this external, you know, kind of vision that you give to everyone or this like, external personality, and then you have an internal personality. Yeah. And everybody always told me that I was so calm and I was calm mean to them.

Stacy Musgrave 00:09:39  And I’m like, you have no idea what’s going on in my brain.

Jaiden Robinson 00:09:41  It’s not calm up here.

Stacy Musgrave 00:09:44  I was like, up here, it’s like, I’m never going to make this work. I don’t even know if people are going to come to me, like, how am I ever going to find anyone? How can anybody know that? Like, it was just frantic and journaling slowed that down because a couple different things. For me, it was like when you say the same thing in writing, day after day after day, you’re kind of like, okay, okay, we could probably be done with this. It’s like, you know, in the world of mindset coaching, it’s like you become attached to your story. And that’s what I was I was identifying, I would come to a group coaching program and I was like, I don’t know, I’m just so scattered. And then over here, I don’t know, I’m just so scattered. And it was like this self-fulfilling prophecy. Like, the more you.

Jaiden Robinson 00:10:25  Say it, the more it’s true.

Stacy Musgrave 00:10:28  Yes. And that’s like the power. The power of our brains is wild. Like it is wild. Think of all the science like scientific studies that have been done about placebos.

Jaiden Robinson 00:10:40  And just like, so powerful.

Stacy Musgrave 00:10:42  It’s crazy. And if we are always focused on the negative through thoughts, through journaling, even like that’s what’s going to come to be. So for me, journaling was like slowing down that thought and realizing, oh my gosh, I wake up with anxiety every single day, every single day. And I probably have for so much of my life, like, I was a worrier in elementary school, and that’s all I felt like. Poor girl. Oh my gosh, you know? And so journaling really helped that because it was like, get my thoughts out. See, kind of like what I’m dealing with. And I was like, oh, I’m dealing with a lot. I thought I was a really positive person for everyone else. I was so positive.

Stacy Musgrave 00:11:23  And for me, it came from this place of like really high standards and like, I meant, well, you know, I wanted a lot for myself. But yeah, I wasn’t serving myself with my thoughts.

Jaiden Robinson 00:11:35  That’s like, we can so bully ourselves in that way. Like, yeah, when I look at other people that are doing great. I’m like, you’re doing amazing and I would never like the things I say to myself in my head. I would never say to someone else, right? Never. No, never. Like they would never. But then you’re just okay. Like bullying. You’re fine with that. You’re fine just being mean to yourself, right?

Stacy Musgrave 00:11:59  And like, I think I talked a lot about that with boudoir photography. Because as women, our bodies are honestly, I feel like we give them way too much attention. It’s like, oh, who really cares? You know, I spent way too much of my life caring. And I think through boudoir photography, I healed so much of that for myself that now I was like, okay, next, you know, like, what’s the next thing? Now it’s not just about my body and like, my self-image.

Stacy Musgrave 00:12:28  It’s like, what am I doing with this one very short, very precious life that I have. And now I’m like, okay, this it’s like time to cut the shit, you know.

Jaiden Robinson 00:12:38  Like, like I’m not going to do that for my whole life.

Stacy Musgrave 00:12:41  Yeah. And so journaling really did that. And then another piece of it is really the identity work. So like okay, how are you showing up. How are you introducing yourself. How are you speaking about yourself?

Jaiden Robinson 00:12:52  Okay. So if somebody because I see this kind of online in the coaching industry where people are like, just show up as like the version of yourself that made $1 million. And to me, I’m like, I don’t even know that person. Like, I have no idea. How could I possibly show up like that? Or I feel like other people might feel like, but then I’m being fake or phony, like I. That doesn’t align with where I am. How do you, like, move past that and just show up? Like, how do you just show up? Yeah.

Jaiden Robinson 00:13:22  As that person. Yeah.

Stacy Musgrave 00:13:23  You know, for me, it’s really like if I were working with a client, it would kind of be taking you through the process of, okay, slow it down for a minute. We would do a little bit of breathwork. I’m not a breathwork coach, but I’m like, we need to calm our nervous system. Because if we have this drilling. Yes, you’re stressed. And so let’s picture for a minute you as your million, the million dollar version of you. You know, when you picture your business and how you’re waking up every day, the thoughts you’re thinking, the things you’re doing, the conversations you’re having, I would have you, like, detail it in painstaking detail, like go so nitty gritty and like, allow yourself to be like, oh wow, that would really be cool. And then how are you spending that money? Where are you traveling? What are you doing? And so you’re like painting the vision for yourself. And then when you have that vision and then you ask yourself the question, okay, who do I need to be today to make that happen? Yeah.

Stacy Musgrave 00:14:25  And so what characteristics would that million dollar version of you have? Do they say things like, I don’t want to post on social media today. No they don’t. They either do it or they find someone to do it or they handle it, you know? Yeah.

Jaiden Robinson 00:14:40  Like that’s we’re not even thinking those thoughts. Yeah.

Stacy Musgrave 00:14:43  And so how else do they go about their day? Do they take care of themselves? Do they take care of their bodies? There’s a reason why a lot of really successful people have a morning routine. Yeah. It’s not that they need to do a cold plunge and they need to do this. And in like all these different things, it’s that they need to set their day up for success. So if you look at your day, are you doing that or are you like, I’m in a snooze, my alarm today, I don’t really feel like working out. Yeah. You make it there to the details and then you think like these people in million dollar businesses, they are just like all of us.

Stacy Musgrave 00:15:21  But they do not let those things hold them back. So where are you holding back? And then a little easier, right. You’re like, oh got it. Okay.

Jaiden Robinson 00:15:31  Yeah, 100%. I mean even just you saying that, I’m like, oh yeah, totally Like, I could see things in my life where I’m like, oh, why am I even? Why am I spending time on that? Yeah. Or why am I even having these? Why am I questioning this? I’m just going to do it because I know that that’s what’s going to get me closer to like, my goal. Yeah, it becomes like less of a fight with yourself. Sure.

Stacy Musgrave 00:15:56  And you think about who you surround yourself with. You know, that’s where it’s like, okay, people have told me before that I’m a little cutthroat. And I’m like, you know, it’s really about our time is so precious and it is so limited. And I think, like, think about a week, how quickly a week goes and you’re like, oh my gosh, literally what happened? How is it Friday already? Whatever.

Stacy Musgrave 00:16:20  Okay, great. I’m excited for the weekend. If someone asks me to do something like the idea of people pleasing at this point in my life just doesn’t really happen. There are things that yes, I have to compromise for people that I love. I have to compromise if I want certain things to happen. But oh, just because you want me there doesn’t mean that I’m maybe gonna come because, nope, I was I was set up with my free time for this. Yeah, that like things like that, showing up like that is a skill. And that’s why, you know, they say it’s lonely at the top, right? It is.

Jaiden Robinson 00:17:02  The more lonely it is.

Stacy Musgrave 00:17:06  But then I also think the more successful people get, the lonelier it becomes. It can. Yeah. Because they are saying no to things that don’t serve them. Yeah. And that’s hard to do.

Jaiden Robinson 00:17:18  Yeah. I just recently did a journey with one of my friends and that was like the biggest story for me was like, what are you saying yes to that you don’t want to be doing because that is absolutely killing you.

Jaiden Robinson 00:17:34  It’s killing you. Like I’m frustrated, I’m irritated, I’m annoyed. I’m all these things that I don’t want to be or like, I don’t even identify with that. Like, I am not an angry person. I am not that way. I don’t get pissed. But I’ve been I’ve been so mad lately. And then I was like, oh, it’s because I’m literally saying yes to everything and I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to go to that birthday party. I don’t want to show up to that event. Like, why am I just saying yes? So then I just learned the word no. And I was like, right, I’m gonna start. I was like, oh, you can just say, no. Other people know this. I didn’t know this. Yeah.

Stacy Musgrave 00:18:14  And you know what? It does become really hard though, too, because I have always wanted to be someone who’s very kind, and I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. And but, you know, these are things, too, that I talk about with my kids.

Stacy Musgrave 00:18:26  Like they get invited to birthday parties And sometimes they don’t always want to go. And I talk through with them like, okay, how important is it to you to show up for this friend? How important is this friendship? And I heard somewhere, I don’t know if it was Brené Brown. she I think it was Brené Brown. She plays this kind of like a number system on a lot of things, and I feel like it’s so helpful. And I use this with my husband a lot. It’s like, okay, you want me to do this thing? Maybe it’s like, you want me to go golfing with you tomorrow, and it’s my day off. And I had like, other plans, right? Like, oh, maybe I didn’t want to go golfing. But I will say, you know what? How important it is. How important is it to you that I go with you? If he would say an eight, 9 or 10. Okay, we’ll consider and then we’re going to have to balance that with something that I want to do.

Stacy Musgrave 00:19:15  Yeah. And if he says, oh, I was just kind of asking you, it’s like a 2 or 3, like you don’t really need to go, okay, great. Because it’s not really that important to me either. I don’t want to go. Yes. And I don’t really want to. And so I’m going to go do something else. We both feel like we’re doing the thing that we want to do, and then we come back together happier because we weren’t like, forcing ourselves to do something. And that’s the crazy.

Jaiden Robinson 00:19:37  You could go the resentment. Yes.

Stacy Musgrave 00:19:40  And think like you could go to a birthday party. You go there, you show up, you think, okay, it’s important that I’m here, and then you show up and you’re like, wait a second. Nobody even literally cares that I’m here. I was just like, another invitation. Why did I do this? How could I have spent this time, like, boundaries and say no is so important.

Jaiden Robinson 00:19:58  And I like, just don’t.

Jaiden Robinson 00:19:59  If if I invite someone to do something and they say no, I’ve never once been upset. Never once. I’m like, no, like you do you like totally. It’s all good. But for some reason, like the standard that you hold yourself to is different. What doesn’t make sense?

Stacy Musgrave 00:20:16  And it might be to that that person made you feel that way, because a lot of people don’t share that. A lot of people are like, oh, you’re not coming. And then they do that, you know? So it’s a little projecting for sure. Yeah. Yeah.

Jaiden Robinson 00:20:30  That’s true. There are some people that are like that. That’s crazy. We can’t be like that.

Stacy Musgrave 00:20:35  No, we would never.

Jaiden Robinson 00:20:38  Okay, I have a question for you when it comes to, like, creativity. So when I feel like this is true for like photographers, anyone that you probably coach in a lot of people that are listening to this podcast are creatives. So like, what do you do when creative? Being creative is your job right now.

Jaiden Robinson 00:20:54  All of a sudden you’re getting money in exchange for your creativity, but you don’t feel inspired. You’re like, I actually don’t want to do this. How do you work through that?

Stacy Musgrave 00:21:06  Okay, don’t want to do this. Like today. I’m not feeling like it or like, oh, shoot, I.

Jaiden Robinson 00:21:11  Think I’m in the.

Stacy Musgrave 00:21:12  Profession.

Jaiden Robinson 00:21:14  well, if let’s do the other one, let’s say, like.

Stacy Musgrave 00:21:18  If you have a photo shoot today. Okay, okay. So you’re just kind of feeling like blah about it. You’re like, oh no, I was so excited. I’ve kind of lost my passion. Yeah, right. Okay. Yeah. And I can think of a client that I’ve worked with who has a meal prep business, and she came to me at that point, she was like, I don’t know. I just feel like I got into this because I absolutely loved it. I love that I was working with this family. This is how it started. And I just feel like maybe I should go and get a 9 to 5 job.

Stacy Musgrave 00:21:53  Like my friends are just going to work and going home. That’s it. And then they go out on the weekends and like it seems like no stress, you know? And so first I started with asking her like, okay, how serious is this? Is this like, you want to go get a 9 to 5? Because if so, great. Like there’s there’s such there can be such relief in that. But if you would let it all go and you would feel kind of like, oh no, that’s not for me, because I got into this for the creativity, for the freedom for the fun of it. Yeah. Then it sounds so simple, but it’s like you have to find what made it fun in the beginning.

Jaiden Robinson 00:22:32  Okay.

Stacy Musgrave 00:22:33  And so I asked her that, like, what was your business like at the beginning? What were you doing? She was like, oh, well, I was creating new recipes all the time. I was cooking just to cook for the fun of it.

Stacy Musgrave 00:22:44  And so then I would ask her, like, okay, do you have time in your schedule to cook a new recipe that inspires you? She’s like, yeah, I could do that on Friday, which is like my day off or whatever, you know? Yeah. And she said that she used to like, make recipes and then go have her dad taste them, taste test them. And her dad is like this really gruff guy and like the the fun of that for her was energizing her. And she just lost it because it becomes about the money, about the transaction, about the grind. And a big thing she was not doing was taking time for herself. Like even when she was at the gym, she was saying, well, I should be working right now. And I’m like, hang on, hang on, hang on. You are going to the gym in the morning. Great. And then do you go and just sit on your couch for the rest of the day? She’s like, well, no, I then work right.

Stacy Musgrave 00:23:34  So you set up your dream schedule. Why on earth are you feeling like I should not be at the gym right now? I should be working. You’re going to go work later. She’s like, well, I’m only going to the grocery store. I’m like, great, you have found a way to turn going to the grocery store into your job. Yeah. Like enjoy that. Love it. Celebrated.

Jaiden Robinson 00:23:55  Oh my gosh, do you know what I mean? Yes. And like this is a tangent, but I feel like when you do become like a business owner and you’re doing it on your own, and you used to be doing it for fun and now it’s your job, it’s like you feel guilty for that. Like why it should be hard to make money. Like, I think we tell ourselves these stories of like, it should be hard to make money. It should. You have to earn money. So you have to work hard for it. And it’s like not necessarily, but like that’s totally a story that she’s saying, like the grocery store is easy and not not a big deal.

Jaiden Robinson 00:24:28  So like that’s not really working. Yeah, but it is.

Stacy Musgrave 00:24:32  It is. And you know what? You are one of the smart ones then in my opinion. Right. It’s like we think, oh my gosh, I can’t believe it’s almost like we think it’s too good to be true because yes. And we would. You know, another thing I do with clients is go back into their money story. Like, what were you told growing up about money? What were some beliefs that you have? Because we take those from our subconscious mind, we take those with us and they are driving the car. Yeah. And we don’t even know about it. That’s another thing. If we go back to journaling, it brings up that awareness that we don’t even know is like the thoughts driving every action that we take.

Jaiden Robinson 00:25:14  Yeah, subconscious. Which is why I feel like working with a mindset coach like you is like so valuable because I can say like, I don’t know, I just feel like I’m not working hard enough.

Jaiden Robinson 00:25:23  And then you can be like, well, what’s the story of mine? You know, just a sentence that, like I would say to myself or your client would say to themselves that they’re like, well, this is what this is what is true. You can be like, well, what’s the underlying belief on that? And that’s just hard to do in your own. I think that’s hard to do in your own brain. Like you need someone to see you from the outside to identify that.

Stacy Musgrave 00:25:47  Totally. And that’s that’s such a big part of like, the experience of coaching. I know there’s a lot of negativity around it, and there’s a lot of coaches that potentially shouldn’t be coaching. Or maybe they are not. They’re doing it, I think, with the right intentions, but it can leave a lot of people feeling worse about themselves than when they started. And that’s a big part of it for me that like, made me sad. I’m like, no, no, do not give up on that dream just because it didn’t work in that way, that that one person told you there is so much going on in your head that if you just provide the space to, like, slow it down.

Stacy Musgrave 00:26:27  So whether it’s through journaling, whether it’s through meditating, working with a coach, it’s just like instead of letting the scramble happen where you’re like, I’m not good enough, this is never going to work. Maybe I should quit. No. Like, let’s pay attention to what we really believe. Maybe I’m nervous. Maybe I’m afraid to push myself. Maybe I don’t want people to see me. Yeah, but those things are all workable.

Jaiden Robinson 00:26:53  Yeah, they’re just totally figure out a whole, like. You can totally change those. Yeah, I, I agree, I feel like the coaching industry, like I get it gets a bad rap and like in some ways I get it and in some ways I don’t because I always surrounded myself with coaches that like are like you or like just really awesome, awesome people. But I feel like I have a discernment that some people maybe don’t have, not no fault of their own. I just like I’ve seen the back end of so many coaching businesses that I’m like, I know what to look for.

Jaiden Robinson 00:27:25  I know what makes a good coach and what doesn’t. So like. But I don’t think everyone has that experience. So then they can get into coaching programs that, like you said, are maybe too rigid for them or like just not. They don’t have the support that they need to actually implement it because yeah, like, I don’t know, I think it can be tricky. Oh for sure.

Stacy Musgrave 00:27:48  And something that kind of came up for me as you were talking is I am always like, I’ll be here in the conversation, but I think that I’m such an analyzer. And so it’s like, this is what’s happening behind the scenes in my head is like, I notice everything that that person says to me, how they approach me, how they handle my objections. And if you don’t like the way that you are being sold to. If it doesn’t feel good to you. Pay attention to that because that is their process. That’s how they’re going to go and teach you. So if they felt like if they were strictly a cold DM and you were like, okay, I’ll kind of see.

Stacy Musgrave 00:28:34  But like, I didn’t like the way they said that, but like, maybe and you kind of talk yourself into it, they’re going to turn around and they’re going to say, okay, 100 cold DMs today. And you’re like, oh, shoot, no, I didn’t like that. And so really, if you’re thinking about a coach, like, look at their process and try to analyze it and be neutral to it and take a step back and think, you know, not only paying attention to the things they say, but like how they’re saying it, how it makes you feel. If someone is pushing too much. Pay attention to that. And if you’re not liking it, don’t just say yes because they’re going to tell you to go do the same thing. Guaranteed.

Jaiden Robinson 00:29:10  Yeah, that is like wow, that seems so simple. But like, I’ve never even considered that. And it’s so true.

Stacy Musgrave 00:29:19  And I’m an open book. I’m like, I’ve been on sales calls and I’ve said things like, okay, well, here’s the thing, I really like what you’re offering.

Stacy Musgrave 00:29:28  I don’t want to make a decision right now, and I know that you want me to make a decision right now, because you don’t want to get me off the phone, because if I’m once I leave, the energy is down. Like I know all the things. I know the psychology. Yeah. So what will you say to me if I say I want a little time? What’s your answer? Do we set up another call? Do you? You know what I mean? And I think that’s the part that kind of disarms people because it’s like, oh, shoot. Okay. Yeah. You’re gonna really call me on my stuff. And it’s not. It’s never in a disrespectful way. I’m like, I just needed to feel good to me or I can’t do it, you know, 100%.

Jaiden Robinson 00:30:06  It should feel good to you. Like, why? Why would you spend that much money? Why would you buy the course? Why would you? If you’re, like, feeling like you have to do it.

Jaiden Robinson 00:30:15  Yeah, yeah. Learning that discernment is huge.

Stacy Musgrave 00:30:19  Oh, yeah. For sure.

Jaiden Robinson 00:30:20  Okay. Another big thing that we talk about a lot is, like you say, your husband is a guy who’s like, just do it. I don’t know, just do it. Just do it. Like, I don’t get why it’s so hard to just do it, but that doesn’t work for most people. No. Right.

Stacy Musgrave 00:30:35  No. I think that’s another thing too, that really led me to because I had always done professional development. It was like once I heard about it, I mean, I don’t know how many years ago, ten probably now, like, I hadn’t read another fiction book in so long because I was like, nope, I have learning to do right. Like that’s I poured everything into it and I’ve learned so much. But the biggest thing is, oh, I like this part of what this person says. I like this part of what this person says, and that’s what’s so important to kind of gather this.

Stacy Musgrave 00:31:14  Like that’s all I feel like this whole world is just like repeating everything. Look at trends, right? It’s like, oh, we’re back to the 90s, you know? And if you don’t like low rise jeans, if you don’t like them in the 90s, you’re not going to like them now. So like, great. But maybe you like the new sneakers. Maybe you like this. Maybe you like this trend. And I feel like that’s how we should approach things in our business. It’s like just because someone says this is the way of doing something, it doesn’t mean that you can just go do it if it doesn’t feel good to you. So I think what I work really well with my clients on is the communication of it. So like the communication of selling your offer, if you’re struggling with that, let’s go back to your why. That’s a there’s a reason there’s so much about it. Like start with your why. You know. And if you just share from that authentic place and you pull little bits of like what I learned from this person, what I learned from this person.

Stacy Musgrave 00:32:10  Then it becomes so easy and you’re like, oh, I’m not selling. So now the just do it feels easy because I figured out a way that feels good to me.

Jaiden Robinson 00:32:18  That is so true.

Stacy Musgrave 00:32:20  Yeah, it is, and it’s important to some people. It’s not important to others. For example, my husband, he’s like, if I have work to do, I have to do it. I don’t care if it feels like dog shit, I have to go do it. And I’m like, oh, not for me.

Jaiden Robinson 00:32:32  Yeah. I’m like, actually, no, yeah, no.

Stacy Musgrave 00:32:36  I don’t like that. That doesn’t sound nice.

Jaiden Robinson 00:32:39  Yeah.

Stacy Musgrave 00:32:40  Like, are there times. Yes. There are things that we have to do. But you know what? That’s why I create accountability with clients and everything else. Because I will show up for my clients always. Yes, yes. And that’s why I have to work with clients that feel really good because I will show up, but then they can be an energy drain and that’s just not serving your business.

Jaiden Robinson 00:33:06  No, that was something I had to learn in my business to like. Because you can lead a horse to water, right? But you can’t make them drink. Yeah. And so that’s what I struggled with because I would, I would I had some clients that like I would give them all the tools. I would give them everything they needed and then they wouldn’t do it. Yeah. And I was like, so I kept going to like different coaches and telling them this problem and then being like, what do I like? I realized I’ve delivered. I realized like, they’ve paid me the money. I’ve delivered what I promised. What they do beyond that is out of my control, but it makes me not want to do it for some reason, and I should just be disconnected from that and not care. But I do care genuinely. So I’m like, I can’t do that. So then I had to just what I figured out was I was like, I just can’t work with those clients.

Jaiden Robinson 00:33:58  Like, I have to attract clients that will be implementers or else. Like, I’m just going to be drained all the time and feel bad about myself, right?

Stacy Musgrave 00:34:08  Yeah. And so I had a couple of thoughts that came up when you said that, because on one hand, if we think about our business like a medical team, right, like, let’s say you have this issue and you’re like, okay, I might need this for ortho. I might need this for this thing from my heart. I mean, I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. I’m not going to throw out medical terms, but like, you’re going to find the specialists, you know. Yeah. And I think about not that it’s your obligation. However, if you are implement or if you are delivering everything on your own and your client is not implementing to me, I want to know what the problem is. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean. And I think like, their big problem could be that there is a mindset block.

Stacy Musgrave 00:34:55  And so I think a couple things.

Jaiden Robinson 00:34:56  1,000,000% exactly that you.

Stacy Musgrave 00:34:58  Could let them know, hey here’s the thing I, I see what’s going on. Kind of like call them out a little bit. And a lot of people don’t do this. Hey, I’m delivering this. And ultimately you can just let the client go. Absolutely. But if there’s any feeling inside of you where you’re like, I’ve been there, I’ve seen clients who have done this. And I also know that there’s an underlying reason I know that you want this or you wouldn’t have signed up with me. And so, yeah, right. It’s like we have to get to that diagnosis. And it’s like, why? Many times it’s a mindset block.

Jaiden Robinson 00:35:30  Like, I mean, I’m thinking I don’t want.

Stacy Musgrave 00:35:33  To show up. They feel embarrassed. They feel overwhelmed. Maybe they’re.

Jaiden Robinson 00:35:37  Like, yeah, yeah.

Stacy Musgrave 00:35:39  Then I’m like, okay, didn’t you need me to work with these clients? You need me? Yes. Put me on your team.

Jaiden Robinson 00:35:46  It really is that because I’ve seen it in the clients that I’m thinking of? Like our beautiful people? That’s the thing to like. I would never sign a client that I didn’t want to work with. I just wouldn’t do that. And so at that point, obviously, I was like, I want to work with you. And then I can see I’m like, you are there, so scared to show up. And I’m like, But I’m not a mindset coach. Yeah, I should maybe I should try to be, I don’t know. But I’m like, I can’t, I don’t know.

Stacy Musgrave 00:36:14  Do you know what the really cool piece of it is though too, is that you noticing that for them is a gift. And if you said to them, hey, listen, I know, like I just said, like I don’t need to repeat it, but like, I know you did this because you want success and I see you not implementing, I think it would be a really a good idea to work with the mindset coach.

Stacy Musgrave 00:36:37  Truly. Like even.

Jaiden Robinson 00:36:38  I’ll send them to.

Stacy Musgrave 00:36:39  You. Yeah. Because and yes one referrals. Why not? And we have a business to run here okay. Like but it would be helping them. It truly would. And that’s the thing like a lot of people don’t even know. And that’s the hard thing with us working together, trying to sell mindset work because it’s something that people don’t even know that they need.

Jaiden Robinson 00:37:02  But I want them back.

Stacy Musgrave 00:37:04  And I’ve been the person who has all the strategy from someone. I’m like, okay, I want to redo my website, I want to do my social media, I want to do this. And I was not implementing.

Jaiden Robinson 00:37:14  Yeah, oh my goodness. Yes.

Stacy Musgrave 00:37:17  Like that was me. That was me. And the biggest thing was I did not have the belief in myself. It was almost like, okay, great, I can put these out there. And then what?

Jaiden Robinson 00:37:29  Like you’re like, great, I have the tools, but like I don’t want to use them or like, I just don’t I can’t use them.

Jaiden Robinson 00:37:36  It almost feels like I can’t, not that I don’t want to.

Stacy Musgrave 00:37:40  And then ultimately, like, not that it’s our job to hold people accountable, but we let the fear take over a lot of times, you know, and so letting someone know, hey, other people have been here. If you want a solution, the solution is there for you.

Jaiden Robinson 00:37:56  Yeah. wow. I just got coached. That was awesome. You guys just all live action coaching. That is crazy. Which is actually what you’re doing on your podcast. And I think that’s so cool.

Stacy Musgrave 00:38:10  Yes, I absolutely love it. I found this coaching podcast, and I think I got burnt out on podcast because I was so hard. I was like, okay, give me anything I can. And I know a lot of people can relate to this. It’s like we are never not listening to something and consuming something. And so that was another big thing. If you’re feeling that lack of inspiration like go take a walk, go take time for yourself, go sit and just be.

Jaiden Robinson 00:38:36  And like.

Stacy Musgrave 00:38:38  Huge thing just.

Jaiden Robinson 00:38:39  Don’t you can still put like this is one thing that I have been testing with myself is like, I can still post and be consistent on social media and not consume it because that’s me. Like, I want to read every self-help book. I want to listen to every podcast. I want to be a sponge. I want all the information. But then I get all the information and then my mind is so cloudy I’m like, I don’t. There’s so many solutions. I have so many questions. I don’t know what is right or wrong. Like I’m confused. And so I found like I need, I have to take like the learning slower and be like, okay, I’m going to read this one book and then I’m going to not read another book for about four weeks and let it sink in and try to, like, really understand it and decide if it’s what I want or not. And I think the opposite of that is like what we do on social media is consume micro bits of information 24 hours a day, pretty much, and then you’re like, so confused.

Jaiden Robinson 00:39:40  What am I supposed to be doing? Don’t you start an email list or be consistent. What’s happening? I don’t know, I.

Stacy Musgrave 00:39:46  Know, I know, it’s awful and I feel like it just more and more. I’m becoming such a minimalist with everything. So like, yes, with clutter, but also with what I’m consuming. Yeah. And so. Oh, that’s what I was saying about this coaching podcast I found and I like couldn’t wait to listen to another episode. And all it was was these coaching sessions that were recorded. And this is where I got this idea. And even when he’s saying like, I love, I love when people teach something to someone else and then they say, you know what? It wasn’t mine to begin with. I heard it from someone else, and then I made it mine a little bit. And now you’re welcome to go do that for you. That’s the dark side of coaching. I’ve created this. You can’t turn around. Yes, of course you can’t copy it.

Stacy Musgrave 00:40:36  However, there are only so many ideas in the world, you know. Yes.

Jaiden Robinson 00:40:40  And it’s a collective consciousness. I don’t know how woo everyone is, but, like, there are really no original idea. No, there really. We’re all just taking inspiration from each other. And I don’t want I don’t know how you could ever come up with something totally original, like, I’m learning from all of these people, and then I’m taking my own recipe of all of those things that I’ve learned. Yeah, implementing it for myself, seeing how it works. And then I’ll teach someone how to do it. The way that I figured out that works for me, you know? And yeah, the copying thing, it kills me because I’m like, yeah, of course we’re not going to copy anyone, right? You can’t just claim to be like the only one who’s ever that.

Stacy Musgrave 00:41:21  I think do not copy, but you can be inspired. Totally. And so when I think about my podcast, I love interview style, depending, of course, on the interviewer and how the conversation goes.

Stacy Musgrave 00:41:37  But I can only tell someone so much. Even with this, I can only tell someone, yes, journaling can really change your life and yes, your affirmations can really work for you. They have to really speak to you. So if you don’t like the affirmation, the universe is sending me everything that I need at exactly the right time. Don’t use that, because that’s going to make you roll your eyes and like, never even want to speak it. But if you say something like I’m in the right place at the right time, and being present is all I can be. And if you love that, it’s like, oh, okay. And if not, then we need to make a couple more iterations and then it becomes something powerful because it’s authentic to you. And that’s how I feel about my podcast kind of going in the direction of coaching, because it’s like even in the conversation that I have with someone else, it’s all similar mindset blocks, just in like different, different details.

Jaiden Robinson 00:42:35  Yeah.

Jaiden Robinson 00:42:35  And then your listeners can say, oh, I’m, I’m just like, Jenny. I’m just like Katie. So I feel the same things as that person. So then I’m going to try to implement those strategies that you like led them to. Yeah. Which is so helpful. Instead of just like a blanket statement.

Stacy Musgrave 00:42:54  Right, right. Which is what you and I think that’s what I tried to do for so long, because that’s how I kind of saw the world of coaching that was like, create this framework and then go to group coaching. And that’s where you can make the most impact in numbers. That’s where you can scale. And I had this nagging feeling that like, I think I work best one on one with people because it is so unique and so specific. And now I’ve seen because I keep digging and learning and never giving up. I don’t think like, oh, I did this one program and it didn’t work for me. So like, therefore I’m done with coaching. I’m scorned.

Stacy Musgrave 00:43:28  I’ve seen so many scorned people. And then they’re like, you know what? I’m never doing that again. I’m like, okay, great. I’m gonna go keep trying something. Yeah. And now I have found this whole other side of coaching that’s like really deep and really powerful and so impactful on a 1 to 1 scale. Yeah. And then once you make a certain level of impact. You can make a certain level of income to match it. And it’s like it doesn’t have to be that way, but we have to trying and figuring it out.

Jaiden Robinson 00:43:57  I love that so much. Like just keep trying. Yeah, yeah. It’s you really do only lose when you give up. Like you decide when you lose. You know, you decide because you get to quit at that point. That’s amazing. Okay, I have one final question for you. And it’s a big one. Okay. What is one piece of advice you wish you could give your younger self? It could be business. It could be anything.

Stacy Musgrave 00:44:26  This is it’s subtle. But to me it’s so big. but it’s really like, you know, I need to give a little backstory, but, like, I never really connected with, like, you are enough. You know, I would see it. I knew that people had bracelets and necklaces, and I was kind of like, I wasn’t rude about it, but I was like, yeah, okay, I know, I know, I’m enough. That’s fine. Whatever. I need to, like, go do something else and I need to figure this out. I need to make this work and, you know, but through all of the work that I’ve done, I’ve realized that I was pushing that off, and I probably should have tuned in a little bit more because I was always like, trying to fit in, not trying too hard, but like wondering why I didn’t fit in. Yeah, I spent a large part of my life like I would be in even in high school, in middle school, like in different groups, but never like I never felt like I was someone’s chosen person, which sounds very vulnerable and like I can, you know, I’m not gonna I’m not gonna cry.

Stacy Musgrave 00:45:35  But it was like, that’s how I spent a lot of my life, and I felt so insecure with who I truly was. And now, as I’ve gotten older and I’ve just gotten closer to what I’m truly meant to be doing, it’s like, oh, I was really good enough, just as I was. I was in the wrong places and with the wrong people. That’s and that’s all it was. And for me now I’m like, okay, well, maybe people just didn’t understand me, and maybe I didn’t even realize how amazing I was. Rather than thinking of all these things about insecurities. I’m like, no, you just had so much more to share. You were quiet because you were analyzing. You were. You know what I mean?

Jaiden Robinson 00:46:23  Yeah.

Stacy Musgrave 00:46:24  And I think that if I, if I would have believed that about myself, I would have lived my life probably completely differently. But then at the same time, I’m like, you know what? I’m so thankful to my younger self that I never gave up.

Jaiden Robinson 00:46:38  Yeah, it can be like hard. I feel like to look backwards because you can. I feel like you can get into that place where you’re like, well, I wish I would have known this about myself sooner so that I could have XYZ. Whatever. Yeah, but then again, it would have changed. Like, you wouldn’t be who you are at this point. Everything. Yeah.

Stacy Musgrave 00:46:56  Like example, I went I went to college and I have two different degrees and I’m not using either one of them. But I met through a friend, I met my husband and I’m like, okay, you know what? Those student loans I have that that timeline and that was to meet you. And I think, gosh, if I would have found a different path before that, then I wouldn’t have met him, you know? And so you really think about your life. And if you’re happy with where it is now, then all those decisions led you here. However, I do just wonder, like I would have felt more at peace through all of those things and that that’s what I wish I could give my younger self.

Stacy Musgrave 00:47:41  Like you shouldn’t have worried so much.

Jaiden Robinson 00:47:43  You know? Yeah. Just you. You’re kind of like, oh, I wish I could take the worry and like that pain away from. Especially when you’re young. Like, I mean, I felt what you said was very like, resonated with me. Like, in high school. It was like I was on the cheer team, like, I. People knew who I was, like, I was, I guess you could say like, popular, I don’t know, but I never felt like I fit in. I never had a group of friends I didn’t have, like a core group of friends. I really didn’t, and I, I still really don’t. I just have lots of friends who are different, add different elements to my life, who I adore. All of them on their own. But I did never have like that sisterhood or whatever that people have. And I was like, what is wrong with me? Like, oh yeah, why do people not like me? Like, I don’t get it.

Jaiden Robinson 00:48:34  And then as I’ve gotten older, I’m just like, oh, I it’s actually it is me. And it’s not like I don’t even want that. Like, yeah, you know, and I wish I would have not worried about it when I was little. Like, yeah, who cares? You just enjoy having different groups of friends. You don’t need one bestie. You’re fine. Right?

Stacy Musgrave 00:48:52  Right. And it is funny you say that because even all through, I mean, even now. But like, people use the term best friend, and I never did. I was like, yeah, I don’t know, I just don’t I just don’t really resonate with that word. Like, I don’t need a best friend, I don’t know. And now even, like with my husband and I, I’m like, oh, well, you’re my best friend. He’s like, yeah, you’re my best friend. I’m like, okay, cool. Like, no, that’s literally exactly me.

Jaiden Robinson 00:49:16  I’m like, I don’t have a best girlfriend.

Jaiden Robinson 00:49:18  Like, I don’t know and I don’t need one. And honestly, that would stress me out. Like, I, I don’t like that level of commitment with someone. And I think.

Stacy Musgrave 00:49:26  It comes down to, to like we need different people for different things. Yeah. And I have really good friends, but it’s just that term for some reason it’s more of like it’s not a negative, but it’s like, oh, I don’t need to put a label on it. I don’t know. It’s like, yeah, but when you were saying something about like being, you know, in high school and like, I feel like I was maybe popular, like even to say that feels weird. And then to take it a step further, I’m like, okay, if I felt really secure with myself, or so I thought, then I’m also like, well, wait, why did I not get chosen for like homecoming court or prom court? And I’m like, but I don’t want it, but I do.

Stacy Musgrave 00:50:04  But like what? Like, you know what I mean? There’s just this inner.

Jaiden Robinson 00:50:07  So complicated.

Stacy Musgrave 00:50:09  And you’re like, what am I even doing? And those are the things that like, looking back now, I’m like, gosh, I wish that I would have not let things matter as much. That truly didn’t even matter, you know?

Jaiden Robinson 00:50:21  No. Yeah, yeah. It’s crazy. It’s so crazy. But I just go back to her in my mind and I’m like, you just were doing the best you could with. You didn’t know any different. You were just figuring out life. And that’s part of the process. So good job. Yeah. You made it out.

Stacy Musgrave 00:50:39  Yes. Yeah. But. Yeah. Which I think too is like another tiny piece of it, but it’s actually a really big piece. Like celebrating that in yourself is really important. And I think that’s something that women especially. But like we just don’t do it enough. And you can if you asked, you would get that same answer from people at every different level.

Stacy Musgrave 00:51:01  It’s, you know, and so that would be a big thing that like, you kind of just stop and take a little breath and think, okay, how far have I come? And that you get to show up better. And as the person that you really want to be in this next chapter because you’re like, oh, right. If I would tell her to stop worrying so much, then why are you worrying today?

Jaiden Robinson 00:51:25  Right now?

Stacy Musgrave 00:51:26  Like, why is it not gone?

Jaiden Robinson 00:51:30  Yes. Yeah. Yep.

Stacy Musgrave 00:51:33  I was going to say and that’s my biggest transformation for me personally, like the inner work. Now that I’m able to focus on this mindset work specifically, I can honestly say that I have not woken up with that anxiety pit in my stomach anxiety for 4 or 5 months. Wow. And it’s like, oh my gosh, I kind of wake up every day like it’s not there. And I’m still like, is it there? Like, is it am I creating? Am I going to create something that causes it? It’s wild.

Stacy Musgrave 00:52:05  But if I do, going back to journaling, if I wake up, I’m like, okay, I’m having a little anxiety anxiety today. This might be the thing that I’m worried about. Maybe it’s this, maybe it’s this. And then I get to say something like, but I choose my happiness every day. Yeah it does.

Jaiden Robinson 00:52:22  So deciding not to worry about that. Yeah. Anymore. Yeah. Wow I know oh my gosh, Daisy, thank you so much. You’re amazing. And you’re just a bright light. It’s so fun to have you on the podcast. You’re making my day so good. and I will make sure to, like, link all of your stuff. So if you guys want to find Stacy, if you want to do mindset coaching, that will be linked in the show notes. obviously you have my referral, and thank you so much. Yeah.

Stacy Musgrave 00:52:49  Thank you so much. This is great. And I think it’s cool to to know that so many different industries can kind of cross over and you can see the connections in all of it, you know, like, yes, this is where I think for anyone listening, yes, we have all these moving parts and all these different things about our business and our lives.

Stacy Musgrave 00:53:07  But when it comes down to it, it’s like, what are your thoughts on each of those things? I would take a minute to just analyze those, ask if you truly believe them, and if you don’t, here’s the crazy easy part you just get to pick a better thought. A more true thought. It’s so simple. And the craziest part for me was that until someone sat me down and like, had a conversation when I worked with different coaches, it became like, oh, and that’s available to me too.

Jaiden Robinson 00:53:43  And that’s available to you. Yeah.

Stacy Musgrave 00:53:45  Yeah. And it gets to be so, so simple. It really does. We overcomplicate it. But yeah. Thank you for thank you for having me.

Jaiden Robinson 00:53:54  Yeah. Thank you so much. First I want to say thank you so much for being here and listening to my podcast. It means the world to me. And I just appreciate this community more than you could ever know. If you love this episode or a previous episode that you’ve listened to, go ahead and head to the.

Jaiden Robinson 00:54:12  Leave a review link in the show notes and leave us a review. We would really appreciate it and we’re so glad that you’re here. Thank you.